A Humor Reader by R. L. Saunders & J. R. Kruze & S. H. Marpel

Author:R. L. Saunders & J. R. Kruze & S. H. Marpel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: fantasy, satire, contemporary, cats, writing, publishing, humor, romance, dogs, telepathy, clean romance, love, politics, parody, short stories, urban fiction, adventure, pirates, writers, caribbean, exotic, business, short story, advertising, mystery, detective, science fiction, evolution, science, savants, autism, special needs, LGBT, tolerance, racism, christian
Publisher: Live Sensical Press
Published: 2018-12-02T00:00:00+00:00

Two

WEDNESDAY. ANOTHER grimy, gritty, overcast day in the Big Apple.

Tess, her partner, inherited the rest of the ad agency. That had been set up when they formed the company. Judy was the creative end, while Tess kept it running along.

Tess thought it odd when when Judy didn’t show up on Monday and didn’t call over the weekend. But it was a real shock to find out she had died on Friday, been cremated over the weekend and was buried on Tuesday.

All thoughts to distract her from the Pine Sol scented elevator with the faux wood paneling as she rode the it once again to their 23rd floor office suite. And again she missed her Midwest college town with the Victorian-styled two-story they used to rent for cheap. Clean air, parked out back. No constant street noise. No closed elevators with Muzak and filtered air pumped in.

She could see from her desk through the glass walls into Judy’s office. The work had arrived as usual, piles of ad copy, printouts of the newsprint runs and magazine inserts. All making a small pile on her desk. Like every work day. Just as Tess expected Judy to walk in with some wild story of bedding some young college stud and completely losing track of time,

Those days were over now. Tess sighed and felt some real grief rising. But shook it off with a shrug. Then sat down to make sense of all their projects.

Since Judy’s phone was ringing constantly and unanswered, the calls started getting routed to Tess. As the details were in her partner’s computer, Tess had to go into Judy’s office to get the data.

It was then she saw the ad. A full page newspaper treatment, centered on the blotter.

Her funeral services ad.

As usual, a beautiful ad that touched the heartstrings and made credit cards fly out of wallets and purses. One you could sign up to attend by one-click on your mobile phone or device. You only had to show up for the limited-time offer. Seating was limited to first-come visitors and family.

Done in a style that was tongue in cheek, but a classy send-off to a formerly up-and-coming advertising executive.

Their agency had advertised many things before. Tess didn’t recognize the mortuary as one of their regular clients. But as big as the agency had grown in the last couple of years, she didn’t know all the companies they served with advertising, only the large ones with regular budgets. Anyone else could buy a run, especially if they provided the copy and graphics and knew specifics of print run numbers and as long as it fit into the specs that that paper required.

The funeral was the next day after the ad ran. Tess attended, of course. There was no viewing, since the body had already been cremated. Instead, a beautiful video was played of the ashes being scattered over the New York harbor by white-gloved attendants in tailored dark suits. Theatrical music, somber at first and rising to a crescendo at the end which denoted hope of a better life in the hereafter.

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